Hobos

One little known fact about hobos is that they have an annual convention. This convention takes place during the second weekend of August in Britt, Iowa. They elect an annual Hobo King and Hobo Queen.

This is just one of the many things you never knew you wanted to know about hobos. Britt, Iowa is a tiny, unassuming town which is "home" to hobos young and old. Housed in an old movie theater is the musty hobo museum.

Adam and I walked into the Hobo Museum and Gift Shop and were greeted by a portly dirty little woman. I'm not sure if she was a hobo herself, or if she had been touching a lot of newspapers. She showed us to the back room and turned the lights on. She handed us a guide and left us to peruse the artifacts of Hobos who had "taken the westbound train" (died).

A hobo is not a homeless person, but someone who travels to find work. Often times, they'll take their special craft (carving, quilting, etc) and use it to make a modest living until they can find work. Hobos live in a "jungle" (hobocamp!!) and share what they can. At the first hobo convention in 1894 (not held in Britt), a hobo constitution was drafted. They have a secret hobo code language to help other hobos along.

Don't get me wrong, the hobo life seems like a lot of fun. You ride trains, you're kinda dirty, you work for your food, you make hobo friends and you get a hobo name. I think that if Adam was a hobo, his name would be Pale-Boy Adam, and if I was a hobo my name would be Cake-Arm Al.

I'm happy we're not hobos, mainly because those names are dumb.

"Are you kidding me?"

Food is an essential part of travel. You want to take in the local cuisines, have some good quality snacks, and on a trip like this, cook your food over a fire like a cave man.

Yesterday, I mentioned Dottie's Cafe. That meal is comprised of the essential foods of the road: meat, eggs, potatoes, bread. You are an American, and that's how you eat. Pass the salt please.

Another essential foods of the road is coffee. It can't be good coffee, it must be picked up from a gas station somewhere. It's too hot to drink for 45 miles and by the time it's cooled off enough, you're not interested.

However, the road only makes you desire one food. This is the most perfect, transportable, non-perishable and delightful food in the world. I am, of course, talking about beef jerky.

As I mentioned before, Adam and I enjoy the peppered beef jerky. I can do original or teryaki, but peppered is really where it's at for me. The first pack we picked up at the Road Ranger was a delicacy created by the Wisconsin Sausage Company. http://wisausageco.com/

Their slogan is "Are you kidding me? That's the BEST beef jerky I've ever had!" Indeed. I think it may have been. Adam preferred the leathery Pioneer brand we picked up later in Britt, Iowa. Adam likes to pretend that he's a hobo.

On the Road

Well, we finally made it out of the Chicagoland area, and are now sitting in Dottie's Cafe in Dubuque, Iowa. We left around 6 am, and had to return to my apartment because I forgot a pillow and that egg crate foam thing. We're still going to make it clear across Iowa today.

Our first real stop was at the Road Ranger travel stop. We had been on a quest for peppered beef jerky and finally found some. More on this beef jerky to come. I know what you're thinking, "Are you kidding me? I want to hear more right now!" Patience, my friends.

We took I-20, a beautiful and scenic route. The landscape changed from urban to rural to very, very rural. The cornfields changed to forests and quaint little towns. Barns and silos, little shops and bars, hills and one-lane roads And then there was the mighty Mississippi. We crossed into Iowa and Adam and I decided to get gay married, just because we could.

Actually, we decided to pull off and take in the steep and high hills of Dubuque. On Fourth Street, there is a funicular elevator that takes to to the top of a hill. It has burned down five times, and has been there since the 1880s in one form or another. An old man with snappy shoes and a cane got into the rickety car with us, a part of his daily commute. The ride up was $1, round trip $2. From the top, we could see the beautiful commerce district, the Mississippi River, Wisconsin, Illinois and (obviously) Iowa. Dubuque is far under-rated.

Dottie's Cafe is a small greasy spoon, perfect for reflecting on the morning's endeavors. Regulars sit and read the paper, the waitresses talk about the kids getting their hair cut in preparation for the upcoming school year. We got the morning special for $4 which included bacon, eggs, hash browns and toast. It doesn't get much better than that. The coffee is exactly the way you think coffee will taste at a greasy spoon diner.

Our next stop will be the Hobo Museum in Britt, Iowa. I love hobos. And musuems.

I'm driving. :)

"Poned"

For those of you unfamiliar with MMORPG (massive multiplayer online role play gaming) terminology, to be "poned" is defined by Urban Dictionary as: Formed as a combination of other diss words such as punk'd, burned, owned, or schooled.

Which is sort of fitting for this posting. Except that in this case, I actually mean that the trip has been slightly post"poned." (WORDPLAY!)

In typical Adam fashion (no offense, darling, its just that you have a tendency to do these things), we have become inevitably delayed due to unforeseen (I did see them coming) circumstances.

Tonight, we'll be making a run to the Target, picking up some last minute items that I feel are necessary, but Davey Crockett (Adam) thinks are superfluous. Such as firestarters, chairs, and hot dog/marshmallow prongs. It's not that I'm high maintenance, it's just that I was a Girl Scout, and I know how to be prepared.

Tomorrow, we'll be leaving very, very early in the morning. We will make it half-way through Iowa. Because goddamnit, this trip is going to happen. And it will be fun. Even with my hot dog prongs.

About this blog.

Today, Adam and I will be embarking on a road trip of somewhat epic proportions. I say "somewhat epic" because it will be shorter than originally thought. Regardless, we will be getting in Adam's car today, I will be driving part of the way (yay!) and we'll be going to Iowa. Mainly so that I can play that one song on my guitar. We'll be blogging the trip, so you can follow us either here, or on Adam's site www.adamchartier.com.

I will be sending postcards along the way from such monuments as "The World's Largest Rocking Chair." If you're interested in receiving one of these cards, please email me your address.

We don't really know where we're going, just that we're going. We have a tent and a cooler and a guitar. And wireless internet. Because we're roughing it.

This is being referred to as the "Existential Road Trip" because we'll be listening to an audio series on existentialism. And listening to Bob Dylan. And figuring out the meaning of life.

I hope you'll enjoy reading about our trip and the insights that driving across the country brings us. We're like goddamn Jack Kerouac or Sissy Hankshaw. Except that we won't be acting as hitchhikers.

Much love to all of you! Wish us luck!